Typhoon "Milenyo"

Yesterday was scary because of the very powerful typhoon.

Still no electricity on some parts of the Metro, and water comes on a trickle, at least only to where I am staying at right now.

I went to the office yesterday. And outside the windows you could see the wind smashing against trees and buildings. Part of the PeopleSupport building was damaged. Trees, leaves and branches were destroyed. It wasn't a rain-heavy typhoon. It carried a lot of wind.

I waited for the rain and the wind to slow down a bit. I thought that I was going to die if I braved the weather. Thank God I hesitated.

Back at the village, the usual tree-lined Amorsolo St was littered with felled trees and fruits that smashed on the road. There was no electricity.

And I'm glad that my family is okay.

London Bridge is Falling Down

I had the weirdest dream of the British Royal Family. Ever.

The scene was Venice-like: transportation is through canals filled with water. Only, the canals are wider, and there are no gondolas.

Anyway, the summary is that I spent the entire time with Prince William. Ha ha ha. We even slept together, under the stars (no mosquitoes???). And when I mean slept, we had different beds.

It was fun. And we also had a banquet the following day. I wonder how I got invited because the people there belonged to the high society.

Yun lang.

The Confession of archrival - Part Two

I asked Trippy to read my previous post, saying that it was shallow. As I've said, I really don't know the people involved, and so my opinion may be far off the mark.

Anyway, it turns out Trippy "knew" or read between the lines the real reason why archrival's interest for gibo waned: archrival wasn't into gibo physically.

Silly me, I overlooked that point. Because for me, everyone is better looking than I am.

In the PLU world, looks matter. Hindi man aminin o ipangalandakan, pero it carries weight.

That is what everyone should know.

The Confession of archrival

Confession :gibo

Mga pare... medyo mahaba itong kwento. Sana lang po maintidihan nyo ang nilalaman at maintindihan nyo ang mga tao sa kwento...kayo na po bahala humusga...

Nagkakilala kami ni Gibo sa PEX... Pero bago siya, nauna kong nakausap sa email sina Jandreks, Bronx at trippy... Wala akong na mi meet sa kanila kahit umpisa pa lang. hiningi ko kay Jandreks email ni Gibo. nagkakwentuhan, nagbiruan at nagkapalitan ng cell number... Umabot kami sa punto na nagtatawagan na sa gabi para lang magkwentuhan. MAgaan ang loob ko kay Gibo. Naging masaya kami... Umamin ako na hindi talaga MArk ang totoo kong pangalan(sensya na sa mga kausap ko na ang alam mark pangalan ko) at hindi ako taga Pasay. itong isa sa mga naging doubt sa akin ni gibo na naging ok na after explanations.Pero may mga bagay kami na pinagusapan(relasyon at sex) na biglang nagpaisip sa akin.. Sabi ko sa kanya, parang hindi ko kaya ang makipagrelasyon sa isang lalaki at nadidiri ako... Natuwa ako sa kanya kasi he said its ok ( wala pa kaming relasyon nito). after days, i have missed him... parang namiss ko yung lambing nya at pakikipagkwentuhan... there is this time na hindi ako makatulog nang minsan umatend sya ng party at hindi pa umuuwi ng 10PM. Hindi ako natulog hanggat hindi sya dumating sa bahay niya( 1PM na ata).. Dito ko naisip na nag ke care ako sa taong ito.. Ito din yung time na hindi ko maintindihan sarili ko kung bakit ako nagke care sa lalake pero binalewala ko kasi gusto ko ang tao...dumaan mga araw, nagtatawagan kami pati sa bahay... ang hindi mo maaalis kay gibo ang pagiging malambing.. ito ang isang bagay kung bakit unti unting nahulog loob ko sa kanya. at sinabi ko na curious ako sa ganitong klaseng set up... Dumating ang time na nagpalitan kami ng picture. nagbigay ako. pero yun din yung araw na nakapag wrong send sya sa akin na dapat ay sa kaibigan nya masend. private thought ko yun ng pag eexpress ng feelings ko sa kanya na pinababasa nya sa iba. nasaktan ako kasi pakiramdam ko niloko nya ako...hindi ko sinagot ang mga tawag nya at parang bigla ko syang hindi pinansin... may 2 araw ata lumipas bago ko siya uli kinausap at nagkapaliwanagan... Okay na uli sa amin ang lahat... ilang araw pa nagsabihan na kami ng i love you. minahal ko sya at minahal nya din ako....nagpupuyatan kami sa gabi para lang magkwentuhan... hanggang last week, i decided we have to meet. nag meet kami sa isang mall... kumain, dapat manonood pa ng sine pero medyo late na... Medyo naramdaman ko na naintimidate ko si gibo pero sabi nya nahihiya lang sya... then nagkwentuhan kami ng konti. inaya ko pa sya actually na gawin namin ang sex, pero he said no... okay lang naman sa akin... that was a very spontaneous thought na pakiramdam ko okay gawin nung time na yun pero hindi ko naman sya pinilit... After the dinner, we took a taxi pauwi at binaba ko sya sa evangelista at ako diretso na pauwi sa amin... after that, medyo naging matamlay ako magtext sa kanya at hindi ko man lang nasasabi ang terms of endearment ko sa kanya..napansin nya yun at tinext nya ako na kung merong problema diretsuhin ko sya... nang mag usap kami sa fon, sinabi ko sa kanya na after naming magmeet, nawala ang thrill or excitement at medyo nabawasan ang nararamdaman ko sa kanya.. i know it sound stupid na parang sa hitsura lang ako nagbase ng pagkakilala ko at pagmamahal ko sa kanya pero mas okay sya sa personal kaysa sa mga picture na pinadala nya sa akin...ang nangyari, after lang din naming magkita...dun ko narealize na ayaw ko ng ganitong relasyon... hindi ako ito... curious lang ako at nung na filled up na yung excitement ko... unti unting nabawasan nararamdaman ko kay gibo.... nagusap kami sa fon last two or three days ago sa fon.. inamin ko ito sa kanya... i said give me time para mag isip at binigay nya... gibo is very understanding sa akin... then ngayong araw, i told him na maging magkaibigan na lang kami at ayoko na lumalim pa kung anu man ang pagmamahalan na merong namagitan sa amin... i HURT the person so BAD. and i am sorry for that. alam kong medyo hindi kapani paniwala pero, minahal ko si gibo... ang pagiging malambing nya ang naging dahilan kung bakit minahal ko sya... kung titignan ay niloko ko sya at hindi ako mag eexplain sa inyo dahil alam kong minahal ko yung tao... ang sa akin lang hindi ko kaya ganitong sitwasyon.. i have plans na hindi pala ito kasama dun... kahit lumabas na medyo nang G*GO ako ng tao, okay lang... tanggapin ko yun...pero alam kong alam ni gibo na minahal ko sya.... naisip ko lang kaysa sa lumalim pa ito ng husto , ngayon ko na gawin... masakit pero minsan dapat natin tanggapin...

GIBO i am very sorry for what i did.... tulad ng sinabi ko sa yo una pa lang... hindi ka mahihirapan ng taong magmamahal sa yo dahil mabait ka.. mahahanap mo din ang para sa yo... sabi ko nga... andito pa din ako para sa yo bilang kaibigan... pasensya ka na kung naging mahina ako... ito ang huling hiling mo sa akin... ang ibroadcast kung ano ngyari sa atin.. ginawa ko na...

sana lang.. tulad ng pinangako mo sa akin... ang anumang alam mo tungkol sa akin... itago mo na lang sa yo.. sana maasahan kita dyan... salamat sa lahat ng kasiyahan na binigay mo sa akin...

sa inyong lahat ayos lang po na hindi nyo ako maintindihan... si gibo po ang nasaktan ko at alam kong may karma itong balik sa akin. kasalanan ko ang lahat... dapat hindi na ako pumasok sa ganitong sitwasyon.... ingatan nyo si gibo kasi mabait na tao yan... ako po ang masama dito at humihingi ako ng pasenya at sinaktan ko kaibigan nyo....hindi na po ako papasok sa PEX.. ilagay nyo po kung ano gusto nyo ilagay...magpost po kayo.. kayo na bahala... pagpasensyahan nyo na po ako...

---

This was posted at http://www.pinoyexchange.com/ under the Alternative Preferences forum, The Confession Room thread. It was written by archrival, who I thought was one of us. To the lazy reader, I’ve highlighted or emphasized the summary of his post for you to understand easily.

Kung titignan, isa lang naman ang sinasabi ng post na ito: it is an admission of having done something wrong to another person in the world of PLUs. Pero kung susuriing mabuti, mali nga ba ang nagawa niya (o nila), or may mali nga bang nagawa? Sa palagay ko, hindi at wala.

In the first place, it is clear that archrival was just curious about the world of the PLU, and he doesn’t intend to have a relationship with the same gender. I have asked Trippy about it, and it seems that from their communiqué, archrival wanted nothing more but S-E-X. Probably just to know what it felt like, I don’t know. Siya na mismo ang nagsabi na hindi niya kaya at nandidiri siya sa ganong klaseng set-up.

And then he said that he cared for gibo. The fact that he wasn’t able to sleep when the latter went to a party and went home at 1 AM may have proved that archrival cared for gibo. But should this be confused with love? I honestly think that archrival was simply concerned for gibo, since in my impression, he is the first guy he talked with in such manner.

After meeting, though, everything started to change for archrival. He realized that he didn’t want this kind of set-up and his “feelings” for gibo waned. His curiosity was fulfilled, and so the thrill left him. He stated he had plans, and “hindi pala ito kasama dun”. What was the “ito”, the “it”? archrival wasn’t planning on having a same-sex relationship.

Honestly, after reading this post, I became sad not for gibo or archrival. I was sad and sorry for myself.

Dapat ba akong magalit sa ginawa ni archrival, o dapat ba kaawaan ko si gibo? Hindi, 'di ko magawa. Bakit? Because I am also guilty of what they did to each other.

One word summarized archrival: curious. He wanted the thrill of being cared for. I am going to push further and say that gibo’s attention for him was an ego-booster. Pampataas ng level ng confidence. Who doesn’t want to be treated like a king? Albeit, a curious one? And when his curiosity was satisfied, the fuel spent, his feelings plummeted. I understand archrival. I understand that there will come a point when you realize that it’s not what you’re looking for. Good for him that he didn’t feel na nagsawa siya. Again, his reason was clear: ayaw niya ng ganoong set-up.

I understand gibo also, because I, too, did fell for someone in such a short of time that we got to know each other. It is normal to get carried away, especially in times of weakness. Also, who wouldn’t bask in the attention of someone, especially someone who showed interest, breaking the monotony of rejection and routine?

Interestingly, what was gibo's reason for rejecting archrival's offer? Was it done in good taste, meaning did he want to show that he had good intentions for archrival? For someone who's been claiming that he needs to get laid, this is one noticeable and curious decision.

Anyway, moving on.

Both of them have no fault. It’s not enough reason to condemn someone just because he easily fell for another or just because one realized that the set-up wasn’t what he wanted. I admire them because they had the strength to talk about it and admit it, even publicly. It’s been less than a month, however, since they first talked, then they exchanged “I love you’s”. In my opinion, the time interval is not enough to have known each other well to say those words. Heck, one month is not enough for people to be together, I think.

I don’t personally know the two of them. What I only have is myself to understand and reflect upon. I am no stranger to this situation, and that is why it was easy for me to relate to the story. This is my opinion.

I just hope that things will turn out fine. How? I think it’s up to gibo and archrival’s best efforts. On my part, there is nothing left to do but learn from their (and my own) experience.

Walk in the Rain

What a weird weekend it was.

Saturday. After work, I lingered for a while at the office. I wasn't in the mood for anything, so I was home before 5 PM. Since my sister was out that day (She went to Angeles City, my brother-in-law said). I wastched Myx and MTV instead. And some other shows. I got to see MTV's (or VH1's) 50 Greatest Album Covers.

Sunday. There was nothing to do. So I watched the kids instead (there was a kid for sleep-over). Anyway, my nephew and niece kept on fighting, and there was one point where she kicked him by the chin. Such miserable kids. I do think they need a good spanking.

Surprisingly, I remembered (desperate Housewives') Felicity Huffman's family. She and her husband don't punish their kids physically, that is why they're so kulit. I think that a little physical discipline (like what Bree did to them during one episode) is good. At least they would know fear.

Anyway, that's not my place anymore.

Last Friday pala, I met with Jon. He's a thirty-something M:tG player also. There wasn't any place to play cards over at NG, so the two of us decided to look for another. We ended up at Landmark foodcourt. He he he. How cheap [and desperate(?)] can we get? After playing we parted ways. Unfortunately for us, it was already raining (weird weather). I was waiting for a cab in front of Tower Inn when it rained again. I had a small umbrella and a bulky bag, so I became wet. When I finally got to ride cab and traveled for a few meters, the driver told me that I should get another cab instead since it was traffic and he won't be able to make it to his "boundary".

Frustrated, I got off without paying the fare, and then I walked home. That was about two miles of walking. In the rain. Damn.

The Only Good News for the Week

Remember what I told you about the exam and interview I had for another company that's trying to "pirate" me?

Well, after oh so many weeks, I received news that I'm already scheduled for my second interview.

That is the best news that I received this week.

Just Making It Through the Day

Unlike before when I wake up in the morning and look forward to going to work, I am now having trouble finding the will to go to work. And at work, I just try and make it through the day.

Things have become monotonous and redundant. And of course, there is the constant scrutiny of the biatch. And of course the next-to-impossible requests of my boss.

Movie: The Devil Wears Prada

I went out of the office early yesterday so that I could watch "The Devil Wears Prada" at WalterMart last night.

I could say that I wasn't THAT disappointed.

I was going to write about how I was able to relate to the movie. But I guess it's enough for you guys to know that I was able to relate to it.

I'm lazy to explain. Besides, I think my friends know what I'm talking about.

Si Paul* at ang Kanyang ...

Halaw sa isang tunay na pangyayari na nabigyan ng kakaibang "twist".

---

I barely know you, Paul, kaya nagulat ako sa offer mo kagabi.

"'Lika, ipakita ko sa 'yo. Dito tayo sa sulok."

Dahan-dahan mong ibinaba ang zipper, at ipinasok mo ang kamay mo sa loob. May dinudukot ka. Bigla mong inilabas ang lalagyan ng gusto mong ipakita. Kulay itim, pero may bahid ng ibang kulay.

"Ang laki pala," wika ko. Napangisi ka lang.

Na-excite ako ng bigla mong ibinaba ang takip ng lalagyan, at laking gulat ako sa aking nakita.

Napakataba, napakahaba, at napakaputi pala ng iyo.

"Wow."

"Gusto mo hawakan?"

"Sige."

Para akong nakuryente ng nahawakan ko na. Upang di ka mabigla, dahan-dahan din ang paglabas ko nito mula sa pagkakatago nito.

"Tigas pala nito," sabi ko.

"Oo."

Tinignan kong mabuti ang mga guhit at linya sa gilid, harap, taas, at ibaba nito. Mulo puno hanggang sa dulo, napakagandang pagmasdan.

Hinimas ko ang kabuuan nito, at makinis rin pala. Sinubukan kong hawakan ang lahat, pero di mag-abot ang aking mga daliri palibot nito.

Sabay pa tayong nagulat ng bigla itong umigkas mula sa aking pagkakahawak. Tinulungan mo akong hawakan itong mabuti, na ikinatuwa ko naman.

"Lagi kong nagagamit 'yan sa La Salle dati. Alam mo kung saan yun?"

"Oo, sa UM?"

"Oo, maraming katulad ko 'dun."

Tinignan at hinawakan ko pang mabuti ang kabuuan ng pag-aari mo. Tagaktak na rin ata ang aking pawis dahil sa init.

Pero ilang minuto pa, ipinatago ko na rin ang hawak-hawak ko. Medyo marami na rin kasing taong nakatingin. Ngunit, masaya ako dahil nakahawak na rin ako sa wakas ng katulad nun.

"May kailangan ka pa ba?" tanong mo. Napailing na lang ako. "Sige. Basta pag may kailangan ka pa, text mo na lang ako."

"Sige."

Iniabot ko ang pera biglang bayad sa una kong nakuha ko sa iyo. At tayo ay naghiwalay na ng landas pansamantala.

...

Hay, Paul, salamat at ipinahawak mo sa akin ang iyong hard-plastic protected Top 8 Type 1 Magic deck.

---

Paul* - di tunay na pangalan.

Nostalgia on the First Day of the -Ber Months

I still am here at the office. Alone.

Nostalgia is creeping in. The sun's light reflecting on the surfaces of the buildings outside dominate my view.

I can't help but think of all the years gone by, in high school, where I would spend my Friday afternoons with friends inside the school grounds. There, we would loll on the football field and reminisce of all the things that had gone by. The wind would sweep at us, move the cut grass, and cool us in passing.

When most people are out partying, I choose to be alone. I want to watch "The Devil Wears Prada", but it seems like everyone else I know had already planned ahead, leaving me wanting for companionship. But I don't blame them. In fact, it could have been my fault to say the least. Ennui, F, and monja! had planned beforehand. I'm not sure about Phanks, but he'd probably 1) be doing school work, 2) or be partying, or 3) be out with his better half tonight.

To kill this feeling, I am going to meet with my other friends (read: straight male) friends at the mall but won't stay very long. Seeing people or a group together might just kill me.

I have actually started to maximize my spending - that is, to minimize my fare and food. So instead of buying outside, I bring my own lunch. Instead of taking the cab, I wake up earlier and take PUVs to work. And instead of riding to my destination that is near, I walk.

Yesterday here at the office, I got a "gift" from the Oracle Corporation. It's a pouch-type zip-up CD holder. How nice of them, but I wonder how they got my contact details. As in they got every detail right: my name and my office address. Am I under CI? I hope not.

NOTE TO PHANKS: I encountered a novel today entitled "Clubland" by Frank Owen. It might interest you. It's about the "fabulous rise and murderous fall of club culture". I will try to get you a copy should you be interested. Just leave a message.

Anyway, I have to go now. Be seeing some of you guys soon.

I've Been Busy

A lot of things have happened.

The f*cking semniar's finally over. Thank goodness I was able to create the presentations at least two weeks before yesterday. Their changes were minor, and it just took a few minutes for me to modify their slides.

I think I gained some weight again. About a week ago, there were three parties held at my sister's house. The first was a retirement party for one of my sister's officemates at the USE. Next was the overdue celebration of my nephew's sixth birhtday. Last was the going away party for my 18 year old niece.

My niece had left last Tuesday morning. She went back to the States to continue her studies. I actually miss her because all the while she was here, we ate dinner and sang the videoke. She's been my companion and confidant, and we shared alot of things between us. In a way, she became more of a relative: she had become a real friend. I think right now she's in her Mexican boyfriend's hug. He he he. (The boy's not really that goodlooking, for me.) Before I forget, I read her Tarot cards a few days before she left because she was having problems about her relationship. But let's not go deeper to that. It's forbidden to openly discuss any readings of people ("clients").

[Want to have your cards read? Text or call +63915 *** ***** so we can schedule you on a Tuesday or Friday, Philippine Time. I charge Php 600.00... JOKE!!!]

Our department bought a new large format Epson printer to replace the old and near-to-death HP wide format.

Still, I've been playing Magic with my new found friends, and everytime I go to meetings (or "gatherings") I meet a whole new bunch of people. Besides playing with what I love (the cards, silly), I get to meet a lot of cuties also. Like last night I went by myself to the shop. I met Mike. I bought cards from him. I didn't linger though, card shopping is proving to be addicting. In the end, I was able to get bargain cards. I went home happy.

I am happier because the one I like has not forgotten. He has surprisingly kept his lines of communication open to this day.