C'est mon anniversaire!

Yehey! I turned twenty-six today.

The first to greet me was Ferdi - he's in Baguio City right now. I miss this barkada of mine. Also, we have a business chuvaness that should push through. That should keep me busy if all things fail. :D

The second to greet me was Urie. And he said - Bro hapy bday po! Hop ur doin fyn. Miz yah. Gudam,...Urie. Damn, Urie. I miss you so much, too. Kung hindi mo lang ako ginago, okay ang pakikipagkaibigan ko sa iyo.

The third was Ate Shei from my previous work. Wow, she remembered.

And then it was Jen, using chikka. Then Eman. I was surprised to get a message from him, actually. The last was Hya, through Friendster.

My day started fine, I had a very long warm water shower. Then ate breakfast. My sister, who is living in Dasma with her family, and I got to talk about her childhood memories, and the conversation made me think about my own, too. Although I can conclude that my mother's and father's sides have "ancient" relations.

Anong masasabi ko? Happy birthday to myself! I wish I had Ennui's eloquence so I could metaphorically describe what I am feeling right now. Although, of late I feel as if he's taken some drugs, and always high!

I want to yosi!!! And I'm celebrating my birthday online. Isn't that pathetic? But, I'm meeting my friends later, so, de nada.

About work, August 1 will be a day of reckoning. After suffering a major setback this July, I believe I'll be back with a vengance come this August. Fuck, I want to work again.

Japanese Scientists Are Geniuses

They are using UV rays as a cleaning implement on just about everything.

I'm Shaking Right Now

Because I plugged a 110 V vacuum cleaner to a 220V socket. Damn. I think it got fried. Lagot ako kay ate.

National Geographic said that obesity is a virus that can be transmitted through sneezing. Damn.

Decisions

Hello there. My sister together with her family left for Bangkok today. As I am typing this, I am sure that they are already there.

Anyway, here is an update. Yesterday, Ate Shei called me up and said that my ex-boss has intentions of hiring me back to head the Purchasing Department/Section. She said that I will be stationed at the warehouse for training purposes. I would be given the same salary, and that I would also have transportation allowance. Now, I honestly believe that that is a good deal. If I am going to be accepted again and stationed away from the main office, I think I'd be happier because I will be away from obnoxious people. It's sad, though, that I am going to be away from my friends there at the office. Well, this is a welcome change, and if really given the chance, I will do my best at the job. Only, my ex-boss believes so much that I can pull this through. I hope I can. I know I can. The best thing about this, I will be near to something that I really love - books!

Ennui texted me the other day that there is an opening at the company that he's working for that is offering a higher basic salary. Customer Service Rep. I've been there. Traumatic. Especially know that it's going to be for billing. *Shudders* I have yet to decide.

By the way, for Harry Potter fanatics, the company is selling HP and the Half-Blood Prince for only Php 1,500. I do not know how that compares to other stores.

Andrew Lloyd Weber's "Phantom of the Opera" is on TV. Damn, I love that film.

You know, sometimes when I look at Pinoys, there is this frown on their face which I can't explain. It's like an acceptance of defeat, of recognizing the status quo, of mock benevelonce. It's a condescending attitude to something akin to the feeling of being unable to defeat something. I don't exactly know how to explain it. I think it's part of the Pinoy culture. Like shouting. That is how Pinoys talk, they shout out what they want to express.

Anyway, that would be it for today. Ü

A Hell Lot Has Happened

I checked my posts and the last time I wrote here was July 5th. It's already the 15th. Ten days had passed, but there has been a lot of goings-on with my life. Let me start with the 6th. It was my sister's birthday, so I texted her. The next thing that happened was that she was already standing there at our door. To cut the story short, she invited me over to their house in one of the posh villages there in Makati. I stayed with them for ten days, and I got home just last night. Much had to be done to their new house because hey had just trnasferred. Good thing my nephew was there to help us out.

Today I am going to meet MJ and JF to celebrate the latter's birthday last 13th. :D Libre?

Damn, I had a lot of things in my mind last night that I wanted to write here, but all of a sudden I can't write a damn thing.

Oh, problems never seem to stop. I don't know what keeps me going. If I had my way, I wanted to leave this place. That would probably a better option, contrary to what others say. It's not that i don't feel any care at all. Surprisingly, there are a lot of people who actually care, and of course I thank them. Life has been tough for me, even at my young age. No, I am not young anymore.

It's a good thing that I was able to escape from my sister's house. I am relieved, but I have to be bcak there Saturday since they are leaving for Thailand.

Okay, so last 13th, I was with JF at ATC and SM Southmall to celebrate her birthday. Actually, we should've been at Paseo, but there was a big rally calling for the ouster of PGMA. As if they could. People are tired, guys, have a life. That day started out wrong because I was caught up in traffic, so I was 30 minutes late. So I went looking for her, but I wasn't able to find JF. I thought she left, so I went to Festival Mall thinking that she may be there. In short, things got messed up, but we were able to meet at ATC around 1145 AM. She was okay. We went to SM Southmall, ate some cake, watched a movie, and hanged out at McDo Cafe or something, then puffed some sticks. I actually enjoyed the day. She got what she wanted also, the complete Heroes III set. I'm happy for her. By the way, I miss U. The places I went to is where we usually hanged out when I was still going out with him. None of that now, though.

Right now, I want to focus and fix my life, or whatever's left of it.

I guess that that would be all for today.

Latest, and Hopefully the Last About Work

You know, the more I think of it, the more I conclude that the reason why I was hired was to threaten the guy that I replaced into thinking that he can be replaced anytime. The thing is, I didn't realize that I was a bait. Damn. I should have known.

Anyway, I was surprised that they at my ex-office called me up. ESS wanted me to relax (he says re-lak), because in three to four weeks time, they would have a position for me. The question is, if they offer me to head the purchasing department with a lower salary, should I accept it? I know it's hard to find a job nowadays, and I guess that it's okay because I have already paid my bills/debts.

For several days I've been playing C&C Generals: Zero Hour. I just can't seem to get enough of it. Would you believe I've skipped lunch and dinner because of it?

What if I do like this: I take the job as purchasing officer, and then I resign and transfer to a competitor, what would happen? I just can't sit there if there is no growth. I'm already in my mid-20's, and I need something stable. I think I've already paid all the bad things that I have done in the past. Can fate give me the benefit of the doubt this time and give me something more of a smooth sailing. I know I have drowned myself in illusions of grandeur, but I think I know better now.

You know, I've been having anxiety attacks lately, especially when I wake up in the morning. It's hard to control it, but I have to because it is for my own sake.

I miss working. I miss the thrill of working and doing things all at the same time. It's an adrenaline rush for me.

So I can't think of anything else to write. This would be it for me today. Ü

Long Weekend

Hi. It's been a very long weekend for me. JF was able to read the blog that I posted last week, and I had to verify what I have already written here. Anyway, I asked her not to tell it to MJ first, which was what she did, though not exactly as i would have wanted. Anyway, it was Friday last week that we met, together with MJ and Enui, to watch a movie, though that would come later. I met the two, JF and MJ at Starbucks G4. As we sat there, JF said that I should tell the big news. It turns out that she told MJ that something's up, though the later doesn't have a clue what it is all about. I declined to tell it. Later, when Ennui came, I warned him also that MJ didn't know about it, so he better keep his mouth shut. Both JF and Ennui said that I should be telling it to MJ. I still declined. The point here is, I didn't feel any guilt at all when I declined to tell things to MJ. It's my issue, and I honestly believe that I should be keeping this to a small set of friends I know who would actually care. Come to think of it, this is the only time that I have come to realize that. There are only three people outside my office who knows about my predicament. All I am asking for now is a little understanding and respect, and some time to think things over, because it is difficult times for me. Maybe someday after I've come to terms with this, then I will have the courage and the strength to tell other friends about this. JF, and mostly Ennui, I know you guys would understand why I did what I did.

Anyway, the reason we met was because we watched "War of the Worlds." It's actually a "heavy-hearted" film: all throughout I felt depressed. For a Spielberg film, this had a lot of loopholes. Ennui agreed with me that Spielberg is loosing his touch. And I didn't like Tom Cruise's acting. So lame, facial expressions the same whether he's scared or happy. Contrary to what anyone would think, I had a great time that Friday night. I met Liah's boyfriend. He was there at the cinemas with his sister and parents.

For this past weekend, I stayed at my sister's house in Dasma. I broke a drinking glass. Bad trip. But I joined them at the pool. The water was actually warm, so I took a dip.

My writing tonight is so lame. I was thinking more of starting this blog with a "I had to step down from the clouds..." shit. But my literary enthusiasm just declined. Probably because I am at a public place, and there is a haw-kan nan ren tsai wo de fang piyen. Ennui: :) I hope you understood that, you devil, you.

I think I have to go now. I am hungry.

I Forget

Wala pala kaming tubig kanina, but that is not the reason why I left the house. Buti na lang nakaligo ako ng 5:30 ng umaga. Sarap!

No More Tears To Shed

I've already shed the last vestige of my tears last night. For today I feel better, which is good, because as I've always believed, "There's no sense in crying over spilt milk."

What happened? Most of my friends asked me that. Well, here I am, utterly devoid of any other source of income. I should have applied to become a priest when I had the chance.

I understand the position of the company. They're facing financial issues right now because of that stupid e-VAT and also some estafa cases. I probably am assuming, but I think I overheard my boss say that I was just 'too expensive'. That's probably true, because I learned that I was getting more than what other officemates were getting. Way more.

The thing that I hated about the company is that they never gave me a chance to prove myself. I had a lot of ideas, but the resources keep me from executing my potential. Look at the displays at the stores. It's so ugly, but the original of that is full of colors. Very irritating.

Of course I can't blame the company entirely. I had my own faults.

As I've said, I've already shed my grief last night. The only thing to do is to pick up the shattered pieces and go on with my "le vie extra-ordinaire." Are you with me? :D