Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Latest, and Hopefully the Last About Work

You know, the more I think of it, the more I conclude that the reason why I was hired was to threaten the guy that I replaced into thinking that he can be replaced anytime. The thing is, I didn't realize that I was a bait. Damn. I should have known.
Anyway, I was surprised that they at my ex-office called me up. ESS wanted me to relax (he says re-lak), because in three to four weeks time, they would have a position for me. The question is, if they offer me to head the purchasing department with a lower salary, should I accept it? I know it's hard to find a job nowadays, and I guess that it's okay because I have already paid my bills/debts.
For several days I've been playing C&C Generals: Zero Hour. I just can't seem to get enough of it. Would you believe I've skipped lunch and dinner because of it?
What if I do like this: I take the job as purchasing officer, and then I resign and transfer to a competitor, what would happen? I just can't sit there if there is no growth. I'm already in my mid-20's, and I need something stable. I think I've already paid all the bad things that I have done in the past. Can fate give me the benefit of the doubt this time and give me something more of a smooth sailing. I know I have drowned myself in illusions of grandeur, but I think I know better now.
You know, I've been having anxiety attacks lately, especially when I wake up in the morning. It's hard to control it, but I have to because it is for my own sake.
I miss working. I miss the thrill of working and doing things all at the same time. It's an adrenaline rush for me.
So I can't think of anything else to write. This would be it for me today. Ü

1 comment:

ennui said...

Don't worry you'll find one soon. Although it's true that it's difficult to find jobs nowadays especially now that the new grads are flocking to the major cities, you shouldn't compromise yourself by just getting by. if u can get something with a high salary that u feel u can stay for more than 6 months, then take it na. We shouldn't be short-changed Ü