Pagpapaubaya

We finally decided to meet yesterday at one of the malls up north so we could get to know each other better. Unfortunately, due to the emergency of your lola, you weren't able to arrive at our meeting place.

I know I'm supposed to understand, but why do I feel disappointed? Maybe it's fate's way of saying STOP?

Mas nakatatanda ako, so dapat ako talaga ang magpaubaya at bigyan ka ng benefit of the doubt. Pero, maraming instances where ang mga sagot mo ay dubious, like the answers regarding your school. Ang kaso, ibang usapan na ito, health na ito ng iyong kapamilya, so dapat kong tanggapin that you have other priorities.

Hahayaan ko na lang ang pagkakataong ito, dahil in truth I can't do anything else. But in truth, I don't want to experience this again with anyone else.

me: ahm, kng may prob sa lola m e d cya na muna asikasuhn m may nxt tym pa naman

me: hey uwi n muna ako, may pasok p kase tom soree

[ Pasensya na sa mambabasa, I had to let this out. :( ]

War Within

Maybe it's my constant need to keep myself occupied and out of my "stupor" that prompted me to contact him, that is, reply to his messages. I said to myself a few months ago that I am going to distance myself to avoid getting hurt again. And yet last night, there has been much effort not to be glad to have seen and talked to him. And I guess he was happy also, because he blushed. Or was it just me?

Parang mali. Tama ba ang ginagawa ko? Should I convince myself that the only reason why I talked to him was that I needed something from him? Have I gone cold? Should I deny the fact that I miss him most?