So Bad

This morning as I rode a jeepney towards EDSA, there were three filthy street children sitting near the entrance of the PUV. I thought they were going to comment on how fat I was, but surprisingly, they did not.

Deep inside my head, though, I wish I had a gun so that I could shoot them dead.

It's so horrible of me, but I think that it would be best for them who certainly would have no great future. Let's admit it, it's hard to make ends meet when you live as pathetically as them.

Why am I like that? I live virtually deep inside a ramshackled community, and yet I have nothing but contempt for them. Why does the sight of the masa boil my blood. Is it because I am ashamed of my family's humble beginnings? I think not. I think it's because I am proud that my family was able to salvage us from suffering the same fate.

Taal Lake. 

OK. So I've Got Picassa/Hello

Now what do I do? I can't upload my photo for the profile. I need help here. Ennui?

That Stupid Chocolate Song

Whenever I hear that Chocolate Song, I cringe.

U sang me a version of it using "choco" only as its lyrics. And he also danced to it for me. He was so cute doing that. Now I can't take it off of my head.

Damn you, U. I miss you.

This Week

This week has been exceptional so far.

-I got a papercut on my finger. It's the third for just within a week. Damn.
-I have been meeting with my sister because they asked a friend of mine to design the prom dress of her daughter.
- I'm tired of MJ's and SA's arguments. I just had enough.
- I'm going to a sunset cruise this weekend at the Manila Bay. I do not know what scares me more: the dark water or the boat/ship/cruise/ferry/whatever.

Already watched SW: RotS. Nice film. Cute Hayden. :D I sure would love to hold and to play with his lightsaber anytime. :D Watched it twice: first, alone, second, with JM. JM's beginnning to irritate me again. Should I drop him once and for all? God, I hate kids.

Monday - out
Tuesday - out
Wednesday (today) - not sure
Thursday - out
Friday - out
Saturday - out after work
Sunday - must be out

Last May 14 to 15, I was with MJ and JF at the latter's farm in Batangas. We went for a swim at the Taal Lake. We had to decend a cliff to get there. I thought I was going to die. Grabe. But THAT was an experience.

What's This?!

I feel as if everyone I know changed, physically, emotionally, etc. but I didn't. Why?

Hanggang Doon Na Nga Lang Ba?

Hanggang doon na nga lang ba? Paulit-ulit at paikot-ikot na pasakit, animo'y wala ng katapusan ang hapdi. Ang mahal mo ay kailan ma'y hindi mapasaiyo. Makuha mo man ay may kaakibat na pagtatangis. Nakakasawa. Darating din ang araw na maiisip at matatanong mo sa sarili kung saan ka nagkamali, saan ang iyong pagkukulang, o mayroon nga ba?

Sa una pa lang, kailngang ihanda na ang sarili sa mga pagkakataong malaman mo na ang taong mahal mo ay may iniibig na iba, ng sa gayon mabawasan ang kirot na mararamdaman sa araw na malaman mo ang katotohanang ito.

Walang perpektong pag-ibig sa mundo, bagkus dapat tanggapin ang mga pagkukulang ng bawat isa ng sa gayon, mamukadkad ang pagsasamang pinalalago ng suporta ng bawat indibidwal sa kanyang kapareha.

Panatiliing bukas ang isipan at matatag ang loob, dahil sa pagdaan ng unos, maipagmamalaki mong naharap mo ito ng buong tapang at hindi nabuwal mula sa itong mga paninindigan. Tiisin ang mga pasakit, dahil sa kahuli-hulian, ikaw rin ang magwawagi.

At sa pangkalahataan, manatilijng mapagkumbaba dahil walang puwang ang pagiging mapagmataas sa tagumpay. Hangarin mo ang kalinisan ng pag-iisip at hayaan itong mamayani sa pang-araw-araw na buhay. At sa oras ng pamamaalam, lagi mong hilingin ang kabutihan at kagandahan sa buhay ng iyong sininta.

What's Up With Them?

I just don't get why people insist that I settle down, as in get married. I mean, what the fuck is wrong with you people?! Don't compare me to your miserably married life.

J'ai un problème.

J'aime Jason pendant une année à la date. Mais je ne sais pas si je lui dis ou pas.

Sleepy

I got home like 3:10 AM today and slept like 3:30. I woke up at 6:45 AM. Damn, this lack of sleep is near to taking its toll on me. But what can I do? It's super hot, super bright.

I went to the Team C First Anniversary celebration. It was okay. Tony, Jakey, Kab, MJ, JF, Svartoza, Rachelle, and I were there. We ate at Super Bowl, then Videoke.

I'm like a third grader writing a boring summer experience. I'll be posting something more interesting as soon as I get that damned sleep.

Humility at Work

I've been reading quotes on humility, a virtue I always strive for. And I want to share this one.

Helen Keller:
I long to accomplish great and noble tasks, but it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble. The world is moved along, not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker.

If only the world could understand, then it would definitely be a better place to live in.

For everything there is a season,And a time for every matter under heaven:A time to be born, and a time to die;A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;A time to kill, and a time to heal;A time to break down, and a time to build up;A time to weep, and a time to laugh;A time to mourn, and a time to dance;A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;A time to seek, and a time to lose;A time to keep, and a time to throw away;A time to tear, and a time to sew;A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;A time to love, and a time to hate,A time for war, and a time for peace. (Ecclesiastes)

Second Time Around

I met with my ex yesterday. Now I don't know what I'm feeling.

Honestly, he's someone I see myself with for a long time.

I'm confused.