Tuesday, May 31, 2005

So Bad

This morning as I rode a jeepney towards EDSA, there were three filthy street children sitting near the entrance of the PUV. I thought they were going to comment on how fat I was, but surprisingly, they did not.

Deep inside my head, though, I wish I had a gun so that I could shoot them dead.

It's so horrible of me, but I think that it would be best for them who certainly would have no great future. Let's admit it, it's hard to make ends meet when you live as pathetically as them.

Why am I like that? I live virtually deep inside a ramshackled community, and yet I have nothing but contempt for them. Why does the sight of the masa boil my blood. Is it because I am ashamed of my family's humble beginnings? I think not. I think it's because I am proud that my family was able to salvage us from suffering the same fate.
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1 comment:

ennui said...

perhaps this contempt stems from the fact that you're sick of living all these years in a "ramshackled" community and since your family has done a lot to improve your situation, there's this deep-seated fear of being compared to them. i don't think you are ashamed of your "roots" or humble beginnings. i think it's just a refusal on your part to be thought of as such. and you have all the right to refuse. where you are right now is a product of you and your family's hard work and perseverance.

perhaps you need a change of environment. we BOTH need a change of environment. :-/

Tuesday, May 31, 2005 11:38:00 PM

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