Saturday, February 17, 2007

Thinking of Retribution

This entry is long overdue.

As I've said, one of the househelps of my sister # 4 has passed away. So we are left with the other katulong that I really don't like.

Anyway, they've been wanting me to make peace and talk to her, but the thing is, I don't see any point. My sister is trying to flex her "muscle" to force to do something that I really don't want to. I think she is going to ask me to leave if I don't. I think I'm ready to move out, since there had been no rest, privacy, and respect for me ever since I stepped there.

I'm partially to blame because I decided to stay at her place. I could have moved out before, but my "condition" and some lifestyle issues prevented me from doing so. Honestly, I really don't want to go back to our house in SJ. Lagi akong stressed duon, lalo na with the heat. I think it's going to hit an all time high, so I need to cool down.

If my sister asks me to leave, I think I wouldn't have any qualms about that.

Ang issue ko lang is that they're giving attention to someone who isn't part of our so-called family. I mean, bastusin ka na nga ng isang walang kwentang katulong, sila pa ang nag-i-insist na ako ang kumausap. That part I really don't understand. It angers me because I feel as if my person is bypassed. I know she's really not my full-blooded sister, but can't she at least see my point? She has asked our mom to talk to me about it.

Even I am angry at my mom for her past decisions, and I've told her about it. But she insists on shrugging it off; she wants me to forget about her doings in the past. Up until now, I can't forget what she has done.

I need some form of retribution to at least save my face, and to hurt them where it hurts most.

At night I wonder what went wrong. I wonder how they could ever respect my decisions and actions. Because inside, I'm already hurting.

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