To Face the Demons

As a step to reconcile myself with my "demons", I am going to attend the dinner-get together that I helped organize on Saturday next week. If I am not going to do this now, I don't think I'd have the opportunity to do it again.

[monja!] asked what I would do if [MJ] also attended the occasion. I told her that I would be civil enough t talk to him, though I am not sure what we could possible talk about anymore. She said small talk would be fine. I don't know what the two of us could talk about, since admittedly I haven't communicated with him since God knows how long it has been.

Then again, I also think that it's time to make amends, since I, too, have my own faults regarding the matter: I expected too much from someone who's oblivious and who obviously belong to the other side of the social spectrum, if you get my drift.

[monja!] further told me that based from their conversation, [MJ] missed my company. Well, I told her that I don't think I feel the same way for him, but I'm glad that someone do misses me, at least for now. Clearly, I have a lot of things in mind for some time now, and I thought I could just let go.

Well, I was wrong. At a time when threads of my social circles are unraveling, I believe I have to consolidate and solidify whatever is left. Not that he or [monja!] are make-do-with pieces, it's far from that. While we don't share common interest, I have to make do with what we do share and have in common.

People come and go, and some are to be kept. When you feel confident that things are settled, you'd be surprised that they aren't. If unprepared for it, you'd find yourself foundering, or blind lost in the dark and with your back to the wall. When it comes to that, then it's best to reconsider and assess the situation and realign it to make life better.